I grew up in a home with just one TV, which had just three channels. Kids would die with a leg up in the air if they had to endure that now wouldn’t they? Being the youngest in a family who had to share the one-from-three-channel experience, I usually found that the only times I got to monopolise the TV was early Saturday and Sunday mornings when the older element enjoyed a lie-in, and during holidays. If you’re not too au fait with 70s early morning viewing, let’s just say it wasn’t all that great. The fare consisted quite often of 1950s shows, and sometimes even older. Shows like Champion the Wonder Horse, The Lone Ranger, Casey Jones and Flash Gordon were some of the older stagers that simply needed to be endured. Newer, but not necessarily any better viewing included Lassie, Flashing Blades and White Horses – the latter of the two being dubbed into English by the same voice actors – and badly! Is there any wonder that kids played out so much back then?

Inches Curtains - not at all like TarzanBecause there were so few channels (and remember, this was also pre-video machines), the alternate options were even worse. The shows weren’t all bad though. I loved Robinson Crusoe and adored Laurel and Hardy. I wish they’d rebroadcast Laurel and Hardy. Quality! The absolute top of the tree for me though was the Tarzan films. I can still remember the excitement I felt when the orchestra ramped up, and the vibrant titles declared that the movie was filmed in Metrocolor. It wasn’t long into the story before the bad guy turned up either. You just knew he and Tarzan weren’t going to see eye to eye, as he was always some kind of hunter who was dead set on shooting everything around him, hoping to bag a stack of trophies to adorn the walls of his New England mansion.

It’s easier to find trophies these days, and can be achieved in a much more tasteful manner. Simply follow these steps:

  1. Visit the Inches Cleckheaton store
  2. Look at our range of quirky animal ornaments
  3. Ask our friendly staff if there’s a specific animal that you’d like that you can’t see – we might be able to hunt one down (without shooting it)
  4. Take your prize home and place in pride of place

Times have changed thankfully. No animals are harmed during the production of our ornaments. This may seem obvious, but it wasn’t too long ago that poor creatures were skinned, stuffed and had their bones or teeth fashioned in order to make what were once considered to be desirable household products. No, you won’t find any stuffed animals, hides or ivory at Inches HQ. Just “ooh!” quality home adornments and room accessories. We just wish every other seller in the world had the same ethos. It might stop the pointless slaughter that still goes on around the planet by greedy, idiotic people. We can’t rely on Tarzan to stop them all, but thankfully there are several agencies in the critical places that are working towards eradicating the problem. Unfortunately, the issue will more likely be solved by the extinction of targeted species, and pretty soon the Elephant and Rhino might join the Dodo’s club.

Sorry. This article has become a little heavy. It was meant to focus on the pain of 1970s holiday TV. I’ve got half a mind that it might soften the blow of going back to work after the summer hols are pretty much over. I can’t imagine the younger readers (and by this I mean the under 35s I suppose) will believe how cruddy holiday TV was back in the day. I always remember an episode of George and Mildred (sorry youngsters) where George tells his wife that “there’s nothing on telly” (remember there were only three channels). Mildred suggests that they could perhaps have an early night. In reply, George frantically checks again spluttering that “there must be something on.” You’ll never have that problem at Inches. There’s probably too much choice. Too many nice things. We’re not going to apologise :o)

Inches – we always go the extra mile!